


And in grief shalt thou homeward go

by saltandlimes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Angst, Happy Ending, Lovers to enemies to lovers, M/M, Mob Boss Thor, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Smoking, Thor isn't so nice in this one, also he's a gross mess, and so is Loki, contract killer loki, very much the Thor from Thor 1
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 10:55:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14163315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltandlimes/pseuds/saltandlimes
Summary: Ten years ago, Loki and Thor were Odin's best enforcers, poised to take over the syndicate when their father stepped down. Then Thor said he was going straight, and Loki left too, striking out on his own without family or friends.Now, Loki has just moved to a new city, taking a few jobs to get himself set up. Everything seems fine until he's dragged into local boss's office and finds out that Thor didn't go straight at all. Instead, he's in charge around here, and he's not happy Loki's working in his part of town.





	And in grief shalt thou homeward go

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea for gross mob boss Thor, and Loki getting off on it, and then my idea accidentally grew a plot!!!

Loki huffs slightly as he’s hustled down a long, wood paneled hall. The man behind him is too close for comfort, and each time Loki glances over his shoulder, the man meets his eyes with a dour frown and steps a little closer. When they reach the end of the hall, there’s a big, redheaded man with broad shoulders and a thick beard standing in front of a door, his arms crossed and a smirk on his lips. 

“This the boy who’s been playing in our yard?” he asks the sour-faced man over Loki’s shoulder. 

Loki bristles as his escort nods. He’s not a boy anymore, not for a decade, and his carefully pressed suit and slicked back hair belong to a man who clearly isn’t one to play. The big man doesn’t pay him any mind though, only chews on one thick lip and raps on the door with a knuckle. From inside, a muffled voice floats out. 

“Send him in.”

The red-haired man reaches out and grabs Loki, patting roughly down his sides and across his shoulders, slipping his thick fingers inside Loki’s jacket to feel for any concealed weapons. They took his knives when they first showed up in Loki’s rented apartment, promising to return them later, and Loki hadn’t had the time to conceal any well enough to make it through the thorough inspection he’d been given. Not that it matters - he can kill well enough without them if needs be - but he likes those knives, and he’s going to be horribly annoyed if he doesn’t get them back. 

The big man grunts when he finishes his inspection, nodding to himself. Then he pushes open the door, shoving Loki inside and pulling it shut behind Loki. 

Loki stands stock still. 

Across from him, behind a heavy wooden desk, Thor sits with his legs spread wide, leaning back in a plush chair. Loki draws in a long breath, his eyes roaming over Thor in surprise. Thor is in nothing more than a white t-shirt, and it highlights all the ways he’s changed since Loki saw him last. The shirt is snug around arms that are as wide as Loki remembers, but that’s not all. It clings to Thor’s sides, stretched tight around Thor’s belly, emphasizing its swell. It creases a little underneath Thor’s heavy pecs, and there are sweat stains beneath Thor’s arms. Thor lazes in his chair, mouth full and a bottle of beer dangling from one hand. His thighs are thick, still powerful but clearly a little too wide for his tight jeans. As Loki watches, Thor lifts a piece of pizza up, taking a bite, then chewing slowly. 

“Well, this is a surprise,” he says when he swallows. His voice is deeper than Loki remembers, a rumble of thunder that was only in its early stages ten years ago. 

“Thor,” Loki breathes. He shifts unconsciously, trying to tell himself he’s disappointed to see his brother again. 

“It’s been a long time,” Thor tells him. 

“Weren’t you going straight? Don’t I remember some speech of yours, about how you were going to be the first Odinson to really help people.”

Thor laughs, wiping greasy fingers across his belly, smearing oil on his shirt. He stands up, stomping around his desk to face Loki. For a moment, he just looks Loki up and down, then he laughs again.

“Guess that didn’t last long,” Loki says, trying to fill the silence as Thor continues to stare at him. 

Thor shakes his head, strands of blonde hair falling into his face as they come loose from a knot. He leans back against his desk, spreading his legs wide. 

“Not so long, no. Turns out, I’m _much_ better at helping people this way.”

“And what way is that?” Loki hisses. He twists his hands into fists, trying not to think about how much he wants to run them over Thor’s huge, thick shoulders, wrap himself into his brother’s embrace as he hasn’t in a decade. “Being some petty criminal? Taking care of some street gang?”

A muscle twitches in Thor’s cheek, and his eyes flash. He’s just as easy to goad as he’s always been, but the expected spark of violence doesn’t come. Instead, Thor lifts the beer bottle to his lips, taking a long drag. He purses his lips when he’s done. 

“More than a street gang, Loki. And, incidentally, you’ve been messing in our business.”

“Didn’t know it was yours,” Loki tells him, stalking around the room to distract himself from Thor and his damnably familiar grin. 

“Would it change things if you had?”

It’s Loki’s turn to laugh, glancing over his shoulder at Thor. “What am I supposed to change?”

“You’re operating on my turf,” Thor growls, setting his beer bottle down on his desk with a clunk. He takes a step towards Loki. Now that he’s closer, Loki can smell him, the thick scent of sweat, and tobacco, and something nutty that must be Thor’s soap. He swallows, trying to tell himself that it's as disgusting at he wants to believe Thor is. 

“Just taking jobs as they come. You should understand that.”

“I won’t have you scaring my people, Loki. You go take your jobs somewhere else, where my girls won’t worry about their date getting bumped off, and my boys don’t have to reassure every single shopkeeper that you’re not gonna pop up and snuff them without warning.”

Thor is too close now, so close that Loki’s skin crawls with his presence. He hasn’t had someone else this near him in years, at least not someone who walks away at the end of the night. It’s too much, Thor is too much, and Loki twists away. He slips out from in front of Thor, stalking across the room. Even so, Thor feels as though he takes up far too much space, filling the air around Loki and so close to touching him. 

Thor raises an eyebrow. “Nervous, Loki?” he asks. It’s a taunt, but even Loki can hear the edge of real concern somewhere inside it. He bristles, tugging on his jacket to straighten it, and squaring his shoulders. 

“Why would I be?” he asks, making sure his voice is steady. 

“I don’t know,” Thor answers, and this time his voice is soft. He makes his way heavily across the room, and Loki can’t escape in time. One of Thor’s hands lands on the back of his neck, his fingers thicker than Loki remembers, rough patches of skin on them marking scars that Loki doesn’t know. Thor crowds into Loki’s space, huge and broad, a monster of a man. 

“Fuck off, Thor,” Loki spits, and a glob of saliva lands on Thor’s cheek. 

Thor growls, stepping back and wiping his hand across his cheek. Loki’s spit gets rubbed into Thor’s shirt just as the pizza grease did, the fabric pulling tight across Thor’s belly as he scrubs his hand clean. The lines of sweat under Thor’s pecs are more obvious now, the way he fills up his clothes, huge and strong and comfortable looking all at once. Loki shakes his head. His skin still creeps from Thor’s touch, his whole body crying out for more and less all at once. 

“Is that how it is?” Thor asks, and his voice breaks Loki free of his prison of indecision.

“That’s how it’s always been.”

“Then stay out of my business, Loki. Don’t take any more jobs on my turf.”

“If you did your business right, there wouldn’t be any jobs to take.”

“There are always jobs,” Thor snarls. “Petty killings, little revenges. Just stay out of my way, Loki. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You never could,” Loki lies, putting every ounce of venom he’s stored up over the past decade into his voice. 

***

Loki spends the next few days in his apartment. He tells himself he’s looking for a new job, and he does spend hours with his computer open in front of him, aimlessly flipping though requests. But he spends just as much time wrapped in a blanket, curled up against the wall outside on his balcony, an ashtray slowly filling up beside him. It’s only when he realizes that he’s run out of cigarettes that he drags himself to the shower. He stands under the spray for almost an hour and scrubs himself raw and new. 

By the time he finally steps out, Loki’s fingers have wrinkled up. He roots around in the piles of clothes that cover his floor, finally coming up with his wallet and a pair of tailored jeans. Loki slips them on, glaring at the way they hang off his hips, emphasizing the hollow of his stomach. He grabs a loose top from a chair near his bed, pulling it on. It drapes about his hips, the wide armholes baring a few of his ribs on each side, and the shoulders making his own seem wider than they actually are. Loki rolls them, shrugging as he pulls out a jacket and settles it across his shoulders, glancing at himself in the mirror. The shirt is wrinkled, and there’s a crease on one side of his jacket, but it’s better than Loki has looked in days. He frowns at himself, running a finger across the dark circles that huddle beneath his eyes. 

His concealer is a little too dark right now - somehow, Loki’s pale skin has grown even paler during his days inside. He smears some underneath both eyes anyways. It doesn’t quite cover over the shadows after he blends it with his fingertips. For a moment, Loki thinks about spending a little more time in order to fix a few of the bumps that have sprung up on his cheekbones, but then he turns away from the mirror, clenching his fists at his sides. If he doesn’t get out now, he’s never going to. 

Outside, the sky is just darkening, and the warmth of spring is starting to fade. Loki has always liked this moment, the instant when everything begins a slow slide back into winter that will last only a night long. It’s not cold enough that he regrets leaving his coat behind, but his hair is still wet, and a few strand blow across his face, leaving cool streaks in their wake. 

Loki turns down the street from his apartment. There’s a bodega on the corner where he can get a new pack of smokes, and a few blocks down there’s a club he’s been meaning to visit. His stomach growls, and he shakes his head. His legs are a little unsteady from days inside with nothing more than takeout and pasta, but they firm up once he starts walking. Once he gets to the bodega he ducks his head, his lowered eyes and thinned lips warding away small talk more effectively than a glower. 

Night has fallen completely when Loki steps out of the bodega. He rips the plastic off his pack of cigarettes, tapping the bottom sharply to loosen them. It takes a second of fishing around in his pocket to retrieve his lighter, and even when he gets it out, his fingers shudder and he has to try more than once before he gets it to light. Loki finally raises the cig to his lips once he does, though, blowing out a long cloud of smoke, and smiling for the first time in days as he watches it drift through the air. 

He walks away from the bodega more steadily than he came to it, heading towards the club. It’s only a few blocks away, and Loki’s just finishing his smoke when he comes up to the long line. He saunters towards the bouncer at the head. Even in his rumpled jacket and creased shirt, he knows how the sway of his hips turns heads, how the slow arch of his back as he stops makes even men who claim to be a straight as an arrow turn and look at him. 

It’s always been this way. From the moment Loki first thought about his own beauty, he’s known how to catch people’s eyes. When he was younger, he’d kept it under control - _no son of mine will show himself off like a common whore _\- but then, after he’d left Odin’s carefully crafted world, he’d started to use it. Now, he crosses one leg over the other, cocking a hip and biting his lip as he looks at the bouncer.__

__“I… this is really embarrassing,” he starts, the rasp from days of too many cigarettes lending his voice a smokey quality that Loki reminds himself to use more often. “My friends just got here, and I was supposed to go in with them, but I had to take a call from my mom.”_ _

__The bouncer looks him over. Loki widens his eyes, letting his hands dance nervously across his waist, caressing his sides and chest just enough to bring the bouncer’s attention to where his nipples have peaked up from the night’s chill._ _

__“Which friends?” The bouncer asks, and his voice is gruff._ _

__“Tall guy, dark hair, nice tan. And a pretty girl with blonde hair,” Loki picks at random._ _

__The bouncer looks him over again, as though weighing how much trouble he’ll get in if anyone finds out he’s bending the rules against the shine in Loki’s eyes and the pink spot where Loki has bitten his lip._ _

__“Ok, but don’t try this again. Just… remember to call your mom earlier or something?” the man says, holding out his hand for Loki’s i.d.. Loki hands it over, letting his hand brush across the bouncer's, and gives him a grateful smile. It’s only a second before he’s waved inside the club._ _

__Inside, it’s not as noisy as he expected from the club’s reputation. Lights pulse, and pretty girls and boys writhe on raised platforms, showing themselves off to the crowd, but the music is only just loud enough to drown out the sound of normal conversation. Loki grins, taking a deep breath._ _

__Sweet hookah smoke drifts around him, and he can see little piles of pillows scattered around the edge of the room where beautiful people lounge, drawing thick vapor into their lungs. Against one wall, a long bar gleams, a few bartenders in hotpants and see-through shirts serving drinks to the crowd. Loki hands his jacket to a girl standing near the door, watching to make sure she hangs it up carefully before he makes his way deeper into the room._ _

__He pauses near the bar. The club is an assault on his senses, after so long locked away in his room, but instead of being overwhelming in its mess of sound and color, it’s exactly what Loki’s been missing these past few days. His mind is starting to go blissfully blank. He leans across the bar, smirking at the nearest bartender._ _

__“Four Roses, neat,” he says. It’s not the nicest whiskey they have here from what he can see, not by a long shot, but Loki’s not looking to sit for hours drinking a single glass tonight. When the girl across the bar hands him his glass, he sniffs it, and then takes a quick swallow. It’s definitely not the finest, but it’s good enough to drink._ _

__Loki saunters across the floor, looking for an abandoned pillow and a group of people he can join along the wall. He’s just about to drop down onto one near a group of fresh eyed early twenty-somethings, when a booming laugh makes him pause. He turns slowly, his eyes scanning the walls for the source of the sound, telling himself it can’t possibly be who he thinks it is. He hasn’t seen Thor in a decade. Now, two times in one week? It’s unlikely._ _

__It’s fortunate that Loki is already so close to the wall, because he stumbles back a few steps and collapses against it when he finally finds man who laughed. He hardly feels the softness of the pillows as he thumps down on his eyes; his eyes are fixed on where Thor lounges just across the room._ _

__Thor’s sprawled out on a pile of pillows, leaning back lazily. He’s dressed up more than he was the last time Loki saw him, a red silk shirt wrapped around him. It’s open at his throat, and even from across the club, Loki can see the blond hair that curls across Thor’s chest. Loki wonders if Thor could even button the rest of the shirt up and cover himself, the silk is stretched so tight across his wide pics. It hugs his arms, clinging to the thick curve of his biceps. Thor has it rolled up to his elbows, and his forearms - what Loki can see of them - are corded with tight muscle._ _

__On one side, a thin-waisted man curls up. One of his legs is thrown across Thor’s lap, resting on Thor’s thick thighs. On the other side, a woman in a tiny skirt has settled into the curve of Thor’s left arm, her legs spread wide, her panties on display to everyone in the club. As Loki watches, Thor reaches up to caress one of her full breasts through her thin shirt, tweaking a nipple that perks up as he plays with it. Loki bites his lip._ _

__Men are scattered all around Thor and his playthings. The thick, red-headed man Loki met outside Thor’s office is leaning against one wall, and a sharp-eyed woman sits close to Thor, her own toy on her lap. Loki hardly looks at them, though. He can’t tear his eyes off Thor, off the way Thor seems to take up more space than should be possible, the way he sprawls indolently on his mound of pillows. Loki shakes a cig distractedly out of his new pack, lighting it with fingers that tremble, his eyes still fixed on Thor._ _

__As he watches, Thor slides his hand down the woman’s body, resting it between her legs for an instant before he reaches out to the hookah in front of him. He breathes deeply, and his cheeks don’t quite manage to hollow as he drinks smoke down. Loki spreads his legs wider, taking a drag on his cigarette as well. Thor tips his head back as he breathes out, his thick neck on display for Loki, muscles tight and tendons standing out. Loki closes his eyes for a second, overwhelmed._ _

__When he opens them again, Thor is looking straight at him. He raises an eyebrow at Loki, and Loki forces his lips into something close to his usual sneer. It’s near enough, apparently, that Thor purses his lips, taking another sip of sweet smoke and looking pointedly down at the man next to him, the man who has almost squirmed into his lap by now._ _

__Loki pushes himself off the floor, his cig hanging off his lips as he stalks across the floor towards Thor. Thor is pointedly not looking at him now, but Loki knows he feels his approach. When he gets to where Thor leans against the wall, he pauses, letting a cloud of smoke escape from between his pursed lips._ _

__“I’d have thought you’d’v left town by now, seeing as there’s no work for you here,” Thor says, still not looking up from where he’s stroking the boy’s leg. His voice is steady, but Loki can hear the roughening of his vowels that means Thor has been drinking._ _

__“And I’d have thought you had better things to do with your time than fuck around with company like this. But here we are,” Loki fires back. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the big man pushing himself off the wall, his thick arms crossing over his broad chest. Loki pays him no mind, though. He many look thin and wiry, but there’s never been anyone that could best him in a fight. No one, save Thor, that is._ _

__Thor chuckles, his hand leaving the boy’s leg to tweak the woman’s nipples to hardness again. “Jealous, Loki?” He asks._ _

__Loki scoffs at the words, but his stomach tightens painfully. He doesn’t remember Thor being this perceptive before._ _

__“Trust me, Thor,” he says slowly, “if I wanted company like this, I could find it.” He glances around. “I was told this was a nice place. I see my friend was wrong about that, if they’re letting people like you in.”_ _

__Thor’s face twists up. His hands fall away from the toys at his sides, and he pushes himself up off the floor. As he stands, his red silk shirt strains across his bulk, the buttons pulling tight. Loki bites the inside of his cheek, trying to keep his gaze hard and clinical, even as he gauges the differences between Thor now, and the Thor he’d known all those years ago. He doesn’t have long to do it, though, because Thor is on his feet, looming in front of him, getting in Loki’s space._ _

__“I think, Loki, that it’s rather the other way around,” he growls. He takes a single step closer, and now his broad chest and thick waist are inches away from brushing against Loki’s. “In fact, I might have to have a talk with the bouncers, if they’re letting people like you in now.”_ _

__Loki laughs, though the sound is a little strained. He arches his back, showing himself off to everyone in the surrounding area. “And here I was, thinking I was improving the view.”_ _

__Thor’s eyes narrow. Loki wants to laugh again, this time real and true. Thor has always had a thing for Loki’s narrow waist, for the way he can stretch and bend into the most remarkable positions. It seems that a decade of being apart hasn’t changed that. One of Thor’s hands starts upward, and for a single moment, Loki thinks Thor means to grab his waist and pull him close. But then Thor’s hand keeps traveling upward, and he snatches the cigarette from Loki’s lips. He drops it on the ground, grinding it out with a ferocious stomp of his foot._ _

__“You should leave, Loki. You know what happens when I get angry, and now… well now I don’t have any reason not to get angry at you.”_ _

__Loki snickers, letting desperation and madness tinge his voice, a vicious sound that he knows with stick in Thor’s ears even after he leaves. “Oh Thor,” he says, reaching out and stroking Thor’s cheek, tickling his soft chin, “I wouldn’t want that. It would be a shame for you to embarrass yourself in front of such… gentle companions”_ _

__He lets his thumb runs up to tease Thor’s soft lips, and then run down to stroke the patch of exposed skin at Thor’s throat with a single finger. Then he turns, sauntering out of the club. He feels Thor’s eyes on him the whole way. It’s only when he gets outside, and two blocks away, that Loki slumps against a wall, panting._ _

__His skin feels too tight. His finger trembles where he ran it across Thor’s thick throat, and down through the hair on his chest. Loki takes a deep breath, trying to still his shivering. He will not let Thor drive him away, not when there are so many jobs here, not when it is _just Thor_. He will not give in. _ _

__***_ _

__Loki throws himself wholeheartedly into hunting for a new job. Now that he’s determined to find one - find one that is solidly within the territory Thor controls - it takes only a few days. Usually, Loki likes jobs that take time. He likes the slow search through the target’s life, the weeks spent observing their every move, the intimate way he can slide into their lives, and then the look on their faces when they realize who he really is. It’s what makes his job so much more enjoyable than any other he’s tried._ _

__This time, though, he picks the first contract that looks remotely workable. It’s a simple one. An up-and-coming businessman has gotten tired of his partner’s continual mismanagement and obnoxious habit of almost destroying their company. Instead of a long, drawn out legal battle, he wants his partner out of the picture. Almost boring, to Loki’s eyes, but it’ll bring in a hefty lump of cash, and it’s simple enough that it won’t take him a long time to prepare._ _

__Once he takes the contract, it’s an easy matter to start the background work. He has to do a little of it, even for a job like this, where client doesn’t want it to look like a suicide, but rather a robbery gone wrong. Even easier, because the client doesn’t care that the target knows who killed him. It’s not revenge, just a convenience killing, and that makes Loki’s job simple._ _

__He pulls on a nice pair of slacks and a pressed shirt in the comfort of his apartment. The slacks are grey, wide enough not to be noticeably fashionable, and the shirt is an utterly unremarkable shade of light blue. He straps a knife to his forearm, but doesn’t bother to arm himself further. Today is just a day to observe, to make sure that his target keeps to the regular schedule the client described. Loki pulls on a jacket that’s just well tailored enough to mark him as a man of business, but not expensive enough to be noticed in a crowd. Well polished shoes go on last, and he’s ready to leave the apartment._ _

__Once he’s outside, he takes the train two stops, then doubles back. He gets to the target’s apartment just as the man is stepping outside. Loki almost bumps into him, murmuring an apology and taking the moment to look the target up and down. Fleshy jowls and thick shoulders squeeze into an ill-fitting suit and a briefcase dangles off the target’s shoulder. A shock of dark hair hangs over the man’s forehead, an unsuccessful attempt to hide a receding hairline. Loki keeps his face impassive as he pulls away, letting the target get a few yards in front of him before he brushes off his suit and keeps walking._ _

__It’s then that he catches a glimpse of red hair out of the corner of his eye. Usually, Loki wouldn’t pay it any mind. There are plenty of redheads in the world, enough that a single one isn’t something to remark on. This time, thought, he lets his eyes slide sideways. There is something just familiar enough about that shade of red that he needs to know._ _

__When he sees who the red hair belongs to, he almost curses. There, just across the street from him, standing right in the line of a security camera, is Thor’s big, broad-bellied henchman. Loki looks away pointedly. It could be nothing. For all he knows, Thor has some sort of business inside that building. For all he knows, it’s a front for whatever business keeps Thor’s little group going. Loki takes a deep breath. That’s got to be all it is._ _

__He sets off down the street, his target now a block ahead of him. It’s a little more distance than Loki would like, but it’ll do for now. This is only a chance to check the target’s route. He makes it another two blocks, before he glances around himself, just in case._ _

__This time, Loki really does swear. There, just across the street from him again, _standing in the line of a security camera again_ , is Thor’s goon. This time, there’s no denying it. He’s following Loki, and he’s intentionally making it obvious that he’s doing it. Loki curses, tightening a fist in annoyance. He turns away from the target. There’s nothing more he can do today. The red-haired henchman has made it far too obvious that someone is stalking this route intentionally. Loki crosses the street, sauntering up to where the henchman is standing. _ _

__“Can I help you with something… ah…”_ _

__“Volstagg,” the big man replies. Then he leans forward, sneering down at Loki. “Boss wanted me to keep an eye on you.”_ _

__“You’re doing a great job with that,” Loki scoffs. “Do you realize you’ve caught the eye of every security camera within the last three blocks?”_ _

__“Course,” Volstagg grins. “That shouldn’t bother you, should it? Not if you’re being a good boy, and doing just as Thor told you.”_ _

__Loki snarls. The knife at his arm is in his hand in a second, coming up to tease Volstagg’s throat before the big man can react. It takes only an instant before Volstagg clasps a meaty hand around Loki’s wrist, but in that time, Loki’s managed to draw a single drop a blood._ _

__“I’m no one’s good boy,” he hisses. “Tell Thor that. Tell him how I saw you following me, tell him how I cut you.”_ _

__Volstagg laughs, his big belly jiggling and his hand tightening on Loki’s wrist. “Oh, dear. Do you think you would have caught me if Thor hadn’t wanted you to? Don’t be stupid, Loki. He told me you were smarter than this.”_ _

__Loki wrenches his arm away, licking the tip of his knife clean and staring defiantly at Volstagg. Then he slides it back into its sheath, glaring. “Fuck you, and fuck Thor too. Tell him I said that.”_ _

__“Oh I will,” Volstagg says, still grinning as Loki stalks off back the way he came._ _

__***_ _

__Loki is still fuming by the time he makes his roundabout way back to his apartment. He’d taken the train three stops away, then grabbed a bus back to his street. Now he’s tearing off his ugly suit, standing in only his boxers in the middle of his apartment._ _

__This should never have happened. It had never happened before, not even when he’d pissed off a mob boss back in Brighton Beach and had to watch his back for weeks before he was sure the Russians weren’t following him anymore. He’s never let someone screw up part of a job like this before._ _

__Back when he was first starting out, it hadn’t been possible. He’d always had someone watching his back, always had someone looking out to make sure everything was going smoothly. Loki sinks into the cushions of his couch, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it with hands that shake. He blows out smoke in little puffs, trying to stop himself from crushing the cig between his fingers. He can’t believe Thor fucked up his job like this._ _

__Back before, it had always been Thor watching his back. They’d started once they were old enough that Odin thought they could finish a job and get out without leaving too much clean up. The first few times they’d been out, Odin had had to talk to them, reprimanding them for leaving so much of a mess that he’d had to pay the cleaners overtime. They’d gotten more careful after that. Loki would do the research, tracking down their father’s enemies and finding out just where they’d be at their most vulnerable._ _

__Thor would be next, charming his way into the target’s life, making them trust him. He was always good at that, with his bright smile and his gentle laugh. He had a way of making people trust him in spite of the breath of his shoulders and the danger that seemed to crackle like lightning around him when he was angry. Loki would come along a few times, just so that the target got used to him, but he was never the one to worm his way into the target’s life._ _

__Instead, he was the one who finished the kill. Thor would charm the target somewhere that no one could see them, and then Loki would appear, all avenging fire and wrath. He’d always made sure that the target knew who he and Thor were, knew that they'd fucked over the wrong family, and that the Odinsons would always be there to take care of their father’s enemies. Loki had done his duty, no matter what._ _

__Thor had as well. They had to, what with the plans they were making._ _

__It had started innocently enough. Odin had gotten mad at Loki for some small mistake, some error that Thor shared in just as greatly. Loki had been the one punished though, his father strapping him until he’d cried. Thor had come to him afterward, cuddling Loki in his lap and whispering in his ear._ _

__“When we’re in charge, this’ll never happen again,” he’d whispered. “When we’re the heads of the family, I’ll treat you right.” He’d kissed Loki’s hair and stroked his face, holding Loki close._ _

__That had started their plot, their slow planning to oust Odin from his position and take their rightful places as the heads of the family. Loki had thought the plan was going well, up until one fateful day when Thor had turned over in their bed and looked him straight in the eye._ _

__“I fucking hate this,” he’d whispered. Loki had quirked an eyebrow at him, stretching lazily. His whole body was loose and relaxed, warm against Thor’s bulk._ _

__“What?” He’d asked._ _

__“All of it. The hiding, the fucking weapons trafficking, the damned family, all of it.”_ _

__Loki had sat up then, staring down at Thor. “What the hell?” He’d asked._ _

__“I’m saying I want out, Loki. I want out, and I want you with me. I don’t fucking want to do this anymore.”_ _

__“What?” Loki had repeated stupidly, his brain refusing to process what Thor was telling him. Thor had sat up then as well, cupping Loki’s cheek._ _

__“I want to go straight. And I want to show everyone how much you mean to me. I want to kiss you on the street and not worry that it’ll get back to father. I want to fuck you and then bring you breakfast in bed. I want to stop looking over our shoulders for the cops every day.”_ _

__He’d kissed Loki, but Loki hadn’t kissed back. It had been too much. It had been the beginning of the end._ _

__Thor had left three weeks later, screaming at Odin that he wasn’t going to keep shipping weapons God-knows-where, and that he was going to find a job doing something better. It had only taken a month after that before Loki had left as well. Odin had always looked at him like he was a terrible mistake, and without Thor there as a buffer, he’d started assigning Loki the kinds of jobs he’d assign a mad dog, good for nothing but ripping the enemy apart. Loki wouldn’t have it, not with his talents._ _

__He’d struck out on his own, always wishing that Thor was at his back to help him, always wondering what had happened to Thor. He’d thought, at first, that maybe Odin had Thor killed. But that didn’t make sense, and so Loki had finally accepted that Thor had gone straight, disappearing from their world like a wisp of smoke flickering up into the night air._ _

__Now he knows that didn’t happen. Somehow, Thor came here, and made a new life for himself, one without Loki. All his promises that he wanted Loki to join him, wanted Loki to be part of his world away from Odin, they were all as false as his claims to want out of the life. Thor never wanted that, Loki is sure now. No, instead, he just wanted to be in charge himself, without his brother-lover at his side and his father looking over his shoulder._ _

__Loki screams in frustration, pounding a fist against his thigh. He’s forgotten about the cig clenched between his fingers though, and it brushes across his bare skin, leaving a burning trail in its wake. He screams again, grinding the thing out furiously on his coffee table. The dark wood is already littered with small burns, signs of other times Loki has lost control. No wonder Thor wanted to escape him. No wonder Thor wants him to leave now._ _

**Author's Note:**

> + ~~This was gonna be 2 chapters~~ JK. Yet again, I posted the first chapter and realized a fic would be three in total. 
> 
> +I SWEAR there will be porn here eventually!!!
> 
> +Yeah, Thor is actually a bit of an asshole. :D
> 
> +Kudos to anyone who figures out what part of the Poetic Edda the title comes from!
> 
> +Find me on tumblr at [saltandlimes](http://saltandlimes.tumblr.com/)


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